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Page 2


  What she saw when she pushed open the white painted door of her parents’ bedroom shocked her to the core.

  Chapter 2

  ‘Dad?’ Lola’s stomach clenched in fear. Something was horribly, horribly wrong. Her stepfather—the only father she’d ever known, the man she loved with all her heart—was packing a case, his face almost unrecognizable.

  ‘Go downstairs.’ He turned his back on her, barely able to speak.

  Lola was shaking. ‘Dad, what is it?’

  ‘Please, just leave me alone.’

  ‘No! I won’t! Tell me what’s wrong.’ Dropping the umbrella, she cried, ‘Why are you packing? Are you ill? Are you going to hospital? Is it cancer?’

  Grief-stricken, he shook his head. ‘I’m not ill, not in that way. Lola, this is nothing to do with you… I didn’t want you to see me like this…’

  It was such an unimaginable situation that Lola didn’t know what to think. When she approached him he made a feeble attempt to fend her off with one arm.

  ‘Daddy, tell me,’ Lola whispered in desperation and tears sprang into his eyes.

  Covering his face, he sank onto the bed. ‘Oh Lola, I’m sorry.’

  She had never been so frightened in her life. ‘I’m going to phone Mum.’

  ‘No, you mustn’t.’

  ‘Are you having an affair? Is that why you’re packing? Don’t you want to live with us any more?’

  Another shake of the head. ‘It’s nothing like that.’

  ‘So tell me what it is then.’ Lola’s voice wavered; they were both crying now. ‘You have to, because I’m scared!’

  Twenty minutes later she knew everything. Unbelievable though it seemed, Alex had been gambling and they’d never even suspected it. Through his twice-weekly visits to a pool club he had been introduced to a crowd of card players and gradually, without even realizing it, he’d found himself being sucked in. They had all met regularly at a house in Bermondsey to play poker and at first Alex had done pretty well. Now, he suspected that this had been the plan all along. Then the tide had turned, he had begun to lose and the genial group had made light of his run of bad luck. When the losses had mounted up to a worrying degree, Alex had confided in them that he needed time to pay back what he owed them. It was at this point that the genial group had stopped being genial and begun to threaten him. Terrified by the change in them, realizing he was in way over his head, Alex had done the only thing possible and concentrated all his energies on winning back all the money he’d lost. Since his bank manager wouldn’t have appreciated this as a sensible business plan, he’d borrowed the money from the friend who’d introduced him to the poker group in the first place.

  A week later he’d lost it all.

  He borrowed an emergency sum from a moneylender, tried again.

  Lost that too.

  Meanwhile his family was oblivious. When Lola’s mum asked him if he was all right, he explained that he was just tired and she told him he shouldn’t be working so hard. The following night, as he was leaving the garage where he worked as a mechanic, he was stopped by two heavies in a van who explained in graphic detail what they would do to him if he didn’t repay every penny he owed by this time next week.

  This time next week was now tomorrow and desperate times called for desperate measures. Sick with shame and in fear for his life—the heavies had been phoning him regularly, reminding him that the countdown was on—Alex had decided to disappear. It was the only answer; he couldn’t admit to Blythe what he’d done, the hideous mess he’d made of his life. She and Lola meant everything in the world to him and he couldn’t bear it any longer. If Lola had arrived home half an hour later he would have been gone for good.

  ‘I wish you had,’ he said heavily. ‘You told us you were going shopping in Oxford Street this afternoon. I thought I was safe here.’

  Shopping in Oxford Street. She’d completely forgotten about that after Dougie’s mother had dropped her bombshell.

  Lola, her face wet with tears, said, ‘But I didn’t, and now I know.’

  ‘I still have to go. I can’t face your mother. I’d be better off dead,’ said Alex in desperation. ‘But I’d rather do it my way than stay to find out what those bastards have in store for me… oh God, I can’t believe this is happening, how could I have been so stupid…’

  Hugging him tightly, Lola already knew she had no choice. Her biological father, an American boy, had done a bunk the moment he’d found out that Blythe was pregnant. But it hadn’t mattered because Alex had come along two years later. He loved Lola as if she were his own daughter. He had made her boiled eggs with toast sticks, he’d taught her to ride a bike, together they had made up silly songs and driven her mother mad, singing them over and over again; she had run to him when she’d been stung by a wasp, he had driven her all the way to Birmingham to see a boy band who was playing at the NEC. His love for her was absolutely unconditional…

  ‘I can help you,’ said Lola. ‘You don’t have to leave.’

  ‘Trust me, I do.’

  Dry-eyed—this was too important for tears—she said, ‘I can get the money for you.’

  ‘Sweetheart, you can’t. It’s fifteen thousand pounds.’

  Her stomach in knots, Lola didn’t allow herself to think of the repercussions. ‘I can get you most of it.’

  And when Alex shook his head in disbelief she told him how.

  When she’d finished he shook his head with even more vehemence. ‘No, no, I can’t let you do that. No way in the world, absolutely not.’

  But what was the alternative? For him to disappear from their lives? For her to lose the only father she had ever known? For her mother’s world to be shattered?

  ‘Listen to me.’ Although her own heart felt as if it were breaking in two, Lola played her trump card. ‘Mum would never need to know.’

  ***

  ‘Lola. How nice to see you again.’ Adele Tennant opened her front door and stepped to one side. ‘Come on in.’

  Following her across the echoing, high-ceilinged hall, Lola felt sick and dizzy but grimly determined. Mustn’t, mustn’t pass out. She’d barely slept last night, hadn’t been able to eat anything either.

  ‘I’m glad you’ve seen sense.’ Adele sat down at the desk in her study and reached for her checkbook. Next to her, morning sunlight bounced off the glass on a silver photo frame. Shifting position to avoid the glare, Lola saw that it was a photograph of Adele and her children, Dougie on the left and Sally on the right. The photo had been taken a couple of years ago while they were on holiday somewhere unbelievably exotic, with palm trees and an ocean the color of lapis lazuli, because Adele Tennant didn’t take her holidays in Margate. Dougie, tanned and grinning in a white shirt, was looking carefree and heartbreakingly gorgeous. Sally, the older sister Lola had never met, was blonde and pretty in a flamingo-pink sarong. Now twenty-six and engaged to an Irish landowner, she was living with him in the Wicklow Mountains outside Dublin. Dougie adored his sister and Lola had been looking forward to getting to know her.

  Her throat tightened. That wouldn’t be happening now.

  ‘You won’t regret this.’ Adele crisply uncapped a fat black fountain pen and hovered the glinting nib above the check.

  The old witch couldn’t wait.

  ‘Hang on a minute.’ Lola briefly closed her eyes, wondering if she could do this. Yes, she could. ‘Ten thousand isn’t enough.’

  ‘I beg your pardon?’

  ‘It isn’t enough.’ She had to say it. ‘I need fifteen. Then I’ll leave Dougie alone. I’ll never see him again.’

  ‘The cheek of you!’

  Lola’s mouth was bone-dry. ‘Otherwise I’ll move up to Edinburgh.’

  Adele shot her a look of utter loathing. Frankly, Lola didn’t blame her one bit.

  ‘You ha
ve absolutely no couth.’

  Lola felt sicker than ever. ‘I need the money.’

  ‘Eleven thousand,’ Adele retaliated. ‘And that’s it.’

  ‘Fourteen,’ said Lola. What if she threw up all over Adele’s Persian rug?

  ‘Twelve.’

  ‘Thirteen.’

  ‘Twelve and a half.’

  ‘Done.’ That was it, she’d haggled her way up to twelve and a half thousand pounds. As far as Dougie’s mother was concerned, she was now officially despicable beyond belief. But it was enough to get Alex out of trouble; his boss at the garage was able to loan him the rest.

  ‘I hope you’re proud of yourself.’ Adele dismissively wrote out the newly agreed sum.

  Lola could so easily have burst into tears. She willed herself to stay in control. ‘I’m not. I just need the money.’

  ‘And hallelujah for that.’ Adele, for whom twelve and a half thousand wasn’t that much money at all, smiled her chilly, unamused smile. ‘So what are you going to be spending it on?’

  As she said it, her gaze slid disparagingly over Lola in her turquoise tank, jeans and flip-flops.

  It was all over now. No more Dougie. She no longer had to try to impress his mother. ‘Moving abroad,’ said Lola. ‘New bikinis. Silicone implants. Isn’t that what you’d expect?’

  ‘It’s your money now. I don’t care what you do with it, so long as you keep out of my son’s life.’ Adele paused. ‘Will you tell him about this?’

  ‘No.’ Lola shook her head and took the check which Alex would pay into his account this morning. He had arranged an overdraft to cover the days before it cleared. In exchange she handed over to Adele the letter she’d written this morning, the hardest letter she’d ever had to write. ‘I’m just going to finish with him. You can give him this when he gets home. I’ll be out of the country by then.’

  ‘Delighted to hear it. Dougie will be over you in no time, but I agree it’s best to put some distance between you. Well, I’ll show you out.’ Adele rose to her feet and ushered Lola back through the house. Evidently relieved that Dougie wouldn’t be discovering the part she had played in seeing off his undesirable girlfriend, she smiled again at the front door and said, ‘Goodbye, Lola. It’s been an education doing business with you.’

  This was it, this was really it. Lola’s throat swelled up and for a moment she considered ripping the check into tiny pieces.

  It was what she wanted to do. But then what would happen to Alex?

  ‘I do love Dougie.’ Her voice cracked; she still couldn’t imagine living without him. ‘I really, really do.’

  Opening the door with a flourish, Adele said cheerfully, ‘But you love money more.’

  ***

  The moment he arrived home three days later, Dougie had only one thing on his mind.

  ‘Hi, Mum, you OK?’ He dumped his rucksack in the hall and kissed Adele on the cheek. ‘Just going to shoot over to Lola’s.’

  Adele hugged her clever, handsome eighteen-year-old son, the light of her life. ‘Actually there’s a letter here for you from Lola.’

  It had almost killed her not to steam open the envelope. Now, as Dougie scanned the contents and she saw the color drain from his face, Adele knew she’d been right to do as she had. He was far too fond of the girl for any good to come of it; at his age it was ridiculous to have let himself get so involved with any girl, let alone one as unequal socially as Lola Malone, the cheaply dressed daughter of a mechanic.

  ‘What does it say?’

  ‘Nothing.’ Pain mingled with disbelief in Dougie’s dark eyes as he crumpled the letter in his fist and headed upstairs.

  Adele didn’t want to see him hurt, but it was for his own good. It was for the best. Calling up after Dougie she said, ‘Are you hungry, darling? Can I get you something to eat?’

  ‘No.’ He turned abruptly, his jaw set. ‘How did you know the letter was from Lola?’

  Adele thought fast. ‘I was upstairs when I heard something coming through the letterbox. When I looked out of the window she was running up the road. Why don’t I make you a roast beef sandwich, nice and rare?’

  ‘Mum, I’m not hungry.’

  Adele’s heart went out to him. ‘Sweetheart, is everything all right?’

  ‘It will be.’ Filled with resolve, Dougie nodded and said evenly, ‘I’m going to my room, then I’m going out. And yes, everything will be all right.’

  But it wasn’t, thank God. Lola had kept her part of the bargain. The moment Dougie left the house, Adele infiltrated his room and found the crumpled-up note under the bed.

  Dear Dougie,

  Sorry to do it like this, but it’s easier than face to face. It’s over, Dougie, I don’t want to see you any more. We’ve had fun and I don’t regret our relationship but my feelings for you have changed recently, the magic just seems to have gone. I don’t want to move up to Edinburgh with you, it’s not my kind of place, and the thought of all that travelling up to see you is just too much. It’d never work out—we both know that, deep down. So I’ve decided to go abroad, somewhere hot and sunny. Don’t bother trying to contact me because I’ve made up my mind. You’ll find someone else in no time, and so will I.

  Have a good life, Dougie. Sorry about this, but you know it makes sense.

  Cheers,

  Lola x

  Adele nodded approvingly, crumpled the note back up again and replaced it under the bed.

  Good girl. She couldn’t have put it better herself.

  ***

  Together-forever, together-forever, together-forever. The words sang tauntingly through Doug’s head in time with the rhythmic rattle of the tube train over the tracks. Just last week—seven days ago—he and Lola had taken a picnic up to Parliament Hill. Lola had let out a squeal of mock outrage when he’d pinched the last sausage roll. He’d run off with it, she’d caught him up and wrestled him to the ground and he’d given the sausage roll to her. They’d shared it in the end, laughing and kissing the crumbs from each other’s lips. It was a warm sunny day and new freckles, baby ones, had sprung up across Lola’s tanned nose. He’d rolled her onto her back and teased her about them, holding her arms above her head so she couldn’t dig him in the ribs. And then they’d stopped laughing and gazed into each other’s eyes, both recognizing that what they were experiencing was one of those perfect moments you never forget.

  ‘Oh Dougie, I love you.’ Lola had whispered the words, her voice catching with emotion. ‘We’ll be together forever, won’t we? Promise me we’ll be together forever.’

  And he had. Furthermore he’d meant it. Now, sitting in the swaying carriage gazing blindly out of the window as the train clattered along singing its mocking song, Doug wondered what could have happened to make it all go so wrong.

  ***

  ‘She’s gone, love. I’m so sorry. You know what Lola’s like once she makes up her mind about something—whoosh, that’s it, off like a rocket.’

  Dougie couldn’t believe it. Lola had left. It was actually happening. One minute everything had been fine and they’d been completely, deliriously happy together, the next minute she’d disappeared off the face of the earth. It wasn’t manly and it wasn’t something he’d admit to his friends in a million years, but the pain of loss was so devastating it felt as if his heart might actually break.

  Instead, struggling to retain his composure, Dougie swallowed the golf ball in his throat. ‘Did she say why?’

  ‘Not really.’ Blythe shrugged helplessly, as baffled as he was. ‘Just said she fancied a change. Her friend Jeannie was moving to Majorca, they met up for a chat and the next day Lola announced that she was going out there with Jeannie. To live. Well, we were shocked! And I did ask her if she’d thought things through, what with you two having been so close, but there was no stopping her. I really
am sorry, love. She should have told you herself.’

  It didn’t help that Lola’s mother was looking at him as if he were an abandoned puppy in a cardboard box; she was sympathetic but there was nothing she could do.

  ‘Do you have a phone number for her? An address?’

  ‘Sorry, love, I can’t do that. She doesn’t want you to contact her. I think she just feels you have your own lives to lead.’ Lola’s mum struggled to console him.

  As if anything could. Dougie raked his fingers through his hair in desperation. ‘Is she seeing someone else?’

  ‘No.’ Vigorously Blythe shook her head. ‘Definitely not that.’

  He didn’t know if that made things better or worse. Being dumped in favor of someone else was one thing, but being dumped in favor of no one at all was an even bigger kick in the teeth. Controlling his voice with difficulty, Dougie said, ‘Can you do me a favor? Just tell her that if she changes her mind, she knows where I am.’

  ‘I’ll do that, love.’ For a moment Blythe’s blue eyes swam and she looked as if she might be about to fling her arms around him. Terrified that if she did he might burst into tears and ruin his street cred for life, Dougie hurriedly stepped away from the front door.

  ‘Thanks.’

  Chapter 3

  Seven Years Ago

  ‘Oh Lola, look at you.’ Squeezing her tightly, Blythe slipped instantly into mother hen mode. ‘It’s February. You’ll catch your death of cold!’

  ‘Mum, I’m twenty, you’re not allowed to nag me any more.’ But secretly Lola enjoyed it. Hugging her mother in return, she then teasingly lifted the hem of her top to show off her toffee-brown Majorcan tan.

  ‘You’ll be frostbitten once we get outside.’ Taking one of Lola’s squashy travelling bags, Blythe began threading her way through the crowded airport to the exit. ‘Are you sure you don’t want to pull a sweater out of your case?’